Hello beautiful soul; I hope you are feeling great.
I was thinking about you, me, and well, basically humans and the fear of failure, the fear of making mistakes. I thought it could be a good idea to talk about where it comes from, how it helped our ancestors, how we can overcome it, and how to be at peace. Interested?
Where Does The Fear Of Failure Come From?
Ok, so where did that horrible fear of failure come from? If we really look back, like 1000 years ago, when our ancestors lived in caves, they were wired negatively. They had to focus on all of the things that could go wrong because they HAD to make the right moves, choices, or they would perish.
Running away was also ingrained in us. Our ancestors had to run away from tigers, snakes, and from all of the dangers out there. Our ancestors passed it on through generations. You can see now how people are also running away now, not from tigers, but sometimes from emails, from starting new relationships, from promoting their business online, running away from wealth just because it is unfamiliar.
You see, back when we were cave people, being different was also frowned upon. We had to stay the same, and if someone stood up, that could mean that they would throw them out of the tribe, which would lead to certain death. You needed the approval of the tribe.
Does this sound like people from this era? So many fantastic people are afraid of standing out; they don’t want to be judged and sort of “die” (which is the true super unconscious fear that we have).
Beautiful soul; you have to know this; if you stand out, it’s because you are outstanding. You have a gift, a talent to share. We live in a multicultural tribe now, and we can thrive by being positive. It made sense for our ancestors to be negative; it was very relevant then, but it’s not relevant now; now you can be positive, you can share your light, your talents are needed.
How Can We Transform The Fear Of Failing?
Fear of failing, well, when we fail, hurts a bit, but then we get up and move on, like when we fell from our bikes before becoming good at it. That is how humans learn. The horrible part is when we aim for perfection; that is a lot of pressure over our shoulders, I believe, don’t you?
I mean, how can a super flawed human push themselves to be perfect, and when they obviously fail due to their imperfection, punish themselves? I can understand the fear. Nobody likes to be punished. So the fear of failure starts before taking action because it’s not the fear of failure; it’s the fear of the punishment for doing it wrong. Remember, in the tribes, the punishment for doing something wrong was, most of the time, death.
So, what if, before doing something you have never done before, you promised yourself to be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes?
Honestly, picture it, as if though you were talking with a little child, letting her know: “It’s ok, I will be here for you if you fall, now go on, I will catch you if anything happens.”
I have something to share with you. When I make mistakes, I do talk to myself as if I was talking to a child, and on many occasions, I do it out loud; my daughter finds it cute, hahaha. I go and say something like, “Oh Jenny, it’s ok, you actually did quite good, let’s do it again and this time focus on improving X, Y, Z.” It’s amazing to have someone talking to you like that. Or at least I prefer that to “Fuck! Why couldn’t you do it like X? How did you forget doing Y? What were you thinking?”
“Giving yourself permission to fail actually gives you the go-ahead, you need to succeed” – Lisa Nichols
Once you choose to change the way you will talk to yourself, the next step is to take action. It is amazing, but once you cross that little threshold, once you cross that border between fearfully looking and action, fear vanishes. It fades away more and more until it is completely gone.
How Can You Live In Peace?
Be grateful. Celebrate your wins, the magical synchronicities that appear every day. Every day we make mistakes, and we also have successes (big and small); celebrate all your wins. Remember to be grateful for being alive; you had another day, and that was a gift, enjoy that present moment and then go to sleep.
Beautiful soul, it would be great to meet you one of these days, I know that through clicking here and creating your online business or promoting your existing business online, the chances would be a lot higher, yet I know that everyone has their own path.
So, if we never meet, I hope you liked this post, that it was helpful and enjoyable for you. And if you want to share your thoughts, insights or want to complement what I wrote, I would love to read you.
Have an amazing day, afternoon or night and I send you a big warm hug.